The Power of Relationships
Written by Mark Payne
01/03/2025
Every hockey season I look forward to the Circle K Classic. It is the one time of year we get to celebrate the game at the U18 AAA level with all the Calgary teams represented in 8 Pools at four different rinks across the City of Calgary.
A few seasons ago a close friend outside the game asked me. “Payne have you ever seen Ted Lasso?”
This may surprise you but outside of hockey on Saturday nights I really do not watch much TV. My favorite show is “After Hours” on Sportsnet because I love watching Scott Oake engage with NHL players. I find it is the only time players engage on a personal level with the media. I am much more interested in hearing about family and the journey then about giving it 110% and putting “pucks in deep”. Sorry boys it’s true.
A few lines in the show really stood out. And no, I am not great at darts; so, it wasn’t that scene. I am a below average snooker player too which is nothing short of pathetic since I grew up with a Pool Table in my basement.
13 Leadership Lessons from Ted Lasso
- Be sincere.
- Stay teachable.
- See good in others.
- Happiness is a choice.
- Winning is an attitude.
- Have confidence in yourself.
- Optimists take more chances.
- Everyone differs from everyone else.
- Courage is the willingness to attempt.
- Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
- Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing.
- Be curious, not judgemental.
- Be a goldfish – Don’t allow one bad deed define who you In less than ten seconds, forget it like a goldfish.
For me it was the last two I had to learn.
“Be curious not judgemental”. Naturally as sports reporter this one is obvious and an easy guide to follow. I used to wonder why people didn’t engage with me around the rink until I slowed down and understood that it was my own ego and approach that needed to be adjusted.
“Be Like a Goldfish”. This was a scene that described forgetting about the past and moving forward. As a Coach I always knew there was a right way to do things. The problem was I wasn’t always doing them myself. “Do as I say not as I do”.
All season I cover a great team and organization in the NW Flames at Father David Bauer Arena. For me the Circle K Classic is my annual Winter Olympics. The United Pacific Projects NW U18 AAA Flames had lost only three regular season games all season in the AEHL. After winning their opening Circle K game they didn’t score for almost two full games. Until two late goals against Burnaby Winter Academy 23 seconds apart to nearly force overtime. There is no quit in this young group and I fully expect Head Coach Ben Sherven and his staff to use the experience to elevate the group in the second half of the season. It starts this weekend at home with back-to-back games.
Your record is not a reflection of your current or future performance. The lesson nothing is nothing is guaranteed, and you need to take advantage of every opportunity from the moment the puck drops. Details matter.
Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance. Language has long been an issue around hockey. As a Head Coach I challenge you not to swear around your team, I am horrible at it. Hockey is an emotional sport but if you can find your message and communication without obscenities the message often is received. In saying this I loved Paul Maurice last Spring explain that his Florida Panther group would benefit from some obscenities in which he described, “I just thought they needed some profanity in their life, and I brought some. I don’t excel at a lot of things in life but fuck me am I good at that.”
Not all the lessons I learned were in hockey some were in business and in working at television stations. So, this one is for our broadcast students who for the most part were very punctual this week. I am ok with cleaning the room or organizing the booth but being late will get you sent down to the Minors or in television simply fired. So, the lesson. “If you’re not early you are late”. In television they have a line, “hurry up and wait”.
Now to what I learned from the teams this season.
“Your Uniform Matters”. I am not always comfortable in dress clothes and trust me I was in a hoodie and sweats the moment I got home after the Championship Final. My kindred spirit of our ‘C’ Champion understood the assignment. Delroy Montague set the bar all week. Our FloHockey staff argued that point with me in our pre-tournament meetings. I lost the argument however I am grateful I set the standard along with the Giants Coach this week.
“Your Opinion is not shared by everyone in the room”. Our play-by-play man Scott Duessing sent me a message on Wednesday night. “Did you really suggest player takes a dive”. After watching several missed calls and the NW Flames battle in two scoreless games I suggested the idea. Last night at the Calgary Flames game it would have certainly worked too. As Nazem Kadri described “I got a penalty for talking tonight.” Man, if this was me it would be a lifetime suspension. Regardless kids don’t dive and get some sleep, so you don’t say dumb things on the air. Officials are improving and learning too, and this is Minor not Professional hockey.
One of the Detroit Victory Honda Coaches said to me in the stands the night before the tournament started while we watched all the team’s practice. “You have the voice”. And yes, I do but I reminded him, “you’re voice only matters when you understand how to use it”. This above all else has been the key to my success in elevating my broadcasting.
I recently read something from Nick Saban. “I changed my whole image as a coach, and it started with changing my image with the media and the people. It helped in so many ways like recruiting, relationships with players. So that’s probably one of the most important lessons”. Coach Saban went on to add this.
“What you model you teach. Actions speak louder than words.”
-If you complain, your athlete will.
-If you point fingers/blame others, your athletes will.
-If you make excuses, your athletes will.
-If you accept responsibility, your athletes will.
Our responsibility is greater than teaching sport specific skills.
Calgary International Hockey Academy lost their first game 9-3 to Shattuck St. Mary’s. They lost their final on 1-0. Stats don’t lie and it was master class of what they learned after only one game against the powerhouse from Minnesota. On the final day in front of a full house, I noticed every detail. One of the hardest parts about working in the public eye is I notice everything. The camera to me is a reflection and like a mirror. I know what I am doing. I know I need to lose some weight and that I wear a stupid hat around the arena.
Enough about me it was the attention to detail from our ‘A’ Champions. In the 2nd Intermission I walked onto the side of there bench and noticed each water bottle was evenly spaced and the back bench had perfectly folded towels evenly separated on the Shattuck’s bench.
I didn’t engage or interview Shattuck St. Mary’s all week. I only talked to their Head Coach Tom Ward a Calgary native twice. Once prior to the Quarter Finals to alert him that I would be coming for starting lineups to lead our broadcast on Flohockey in their game versus Phoenix. The second was at the very end as they were leaving to the bus. I shook his hand and said “I noticed every detail this week Coach, I admired it from a distance out of respect for the process. Congratulations.”
Shattuck St. Mary’s understood the assignment and took home their master’s degree with honourable distinction in my eyes with their back-to-back Championship.
Last season I never interviewed Landon DuPont. The same goes for this year with Maddox Schultz.
My reason was simple. You would never interrupt someone in the middle of painting a masterpiece. The same goes for this years Champion.
What will I remember about the 2024 hockey season. That leading is harder than following. The journey is the best part of winning and most importantly, relationships matter.
So last night as I arrived at the Dome as a hockey fan aka. “my best self” in a jersey and track pants there was a familiar face inside the main lobby, Eric Francis. I usually go into the main entrance, but it was freezing outside. I wanted to thank Eric for reaching out to our Social Media crew. Nathan and Hayden were so stoked to see their footage on the New Years Eve broadcast. It wasn’t about me it was about our team at Circle K Classic and on Flohockey. In the 2nd Intermission after the panel concluded with Ryan Leslie, Cory Sarich and Eric the Sportsnet Producer game him the press pass I handed had handed him while the guys were on the air for the Circle K Classic. He laughed, slid it into his navy-blue blazer and saw me smiling at the side of the booth. I told both Leslie and Sarich that I had passes for them next year too and Happy New Years boys, we all then shared a laugh. Hey, the best Coaches are always scouting and recruiting talent.
As you build a team the most rewarding moment is that moment they get it. And for all the students I worked with last week that sometimes takes a lot longer than you think.
You cannot win on your own and life is better when you can share it with family, teammates and friends.
I always remind myself. “It’s free to be nice”. Isolate, Validate, Acknowledge, Change. That’s how “Sports & Friends” was born.
